Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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