He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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