I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
