he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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