I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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