It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
