He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize