Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
