Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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