I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story