Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize