i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
