We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
