My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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