I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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