Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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