This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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