i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I think my moral compass just broke
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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