Me. At least after what I've been through.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
