i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
