Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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