i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
