Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
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Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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