In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
