you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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