I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
