i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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