I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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