Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
