I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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