We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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