Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
