Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
