I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
