Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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