i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize