the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
