Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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