Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
