it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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