Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize