We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
