Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
