Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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