So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
