His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
