And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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