After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
