please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
