there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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