So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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