I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
