Where is the hickey?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
