OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
