Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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