every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
