saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
