I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
