This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Say something about gay babies.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
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she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
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You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON