i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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