I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize