Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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