I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
nutella sex= disaster
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
