Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize