Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
